It has been 146 years ago today that the tragic death of dear Benny occurred. Some of the details of his untimely passing are mentioned in the previous blog. As I sit here in this room typing, I am just across the hall from Benny's room where I'm sure many of his diary entries were penned. His very first one reads, "Monday, January 9th 1860. On this day I have commenced writing a journal of my life and doings which may prove both useful and interesting hereafter...." I hope Benny somehow knows his words have done far more than he ever wished for. They are windows to a world we will never experience except through writings like his. Because of Benny's journal it is easy to imagine with accuracy what went on here daily. He gives us glimpses into the work loads each of them carried, the worries of war, the foods they ate, the dancing and singing they enjoyed and the natural curiosities of a young boy discovering his responsibilities and talents. We have furnished his room much like it might have been when he was living.
It's a small, cozy area upstairs and on the wall in a border type fashion, I painted one of his diary entries. I always thought this one line showed his enthusiasm for life and his youthful view of the world. It goes like this: "May 5th, 1860. When I awoke this morning the sun was up and the birds were singing and I hoisted my window and opened the shutters and it was the most beautiful morning I nearly ever saw."
Tonight, when you gaze out Benny's one window, snow is softly falling. The flakes are large. Benny's body was laid to rest in the family cemetery out back and there is little mention of him in letters afterward. It was just too hard for the family to discuss. His journal and uniform was set aside. Benny was to have joined Col Mosby's command just two days after his death. In preparation for military life and much to Benny's satisfaction his uniform had been locally sewn and a horse had been purchased for him by his father for $1,000.00. A Canadian horse and in Benny's words, "he is fat too!" But Benny never lived to enter the Army, yet he died a soldier's death. His uniform we never found during the restoration process, much to our dismay, and my husband recalls that once Betsy mentioned that she remembered her mother, Nannie Burke Fleet, once burning an old uniform out back in the yard because it was full of moth holes. It's too bad it did not get saved. But his journal did and is safely stored.
It's a small, cozy area upstairs and on the wall in a border type fashion, I painted one of his diary entries. I always thought this one line showed his enthusiasm for life and his youthful view of the world. It goes like this: "May 5th, 1860. When I awoke this morning the sun was up and the birds were singing and I hoisted my window and opened the shutters and it was the most beautiful morning I nearly ever saw."
Tonight, when you gaze out Benny's one window, snow is softly falling. The flakes are large. Benny's body was laid to rest in the family cemetery out back and there is little mention of him in letters afterward. It was just too hard for the family to discuss. His journal and uniform was set aside. Benny was to have joined Col Mosby's command just two days after his death. In preparation for military life and much to Benny's satisfaction his uniform had been locally sewn and a horse had been purchased for him by his father for $1,000.00. A Canadian horse and in Benny's words, "he is fat too!" But Benny never lived to enter the Army, yet he died a soldier's death. His uniform we never found during the restoration process, much to our dismay, and my husband recalls that once Betsy mentioned that she remembered her mother, Nannie Burke Fleet, once burning an old uniform out back in the yard because it was full of moth holes. It's too bad it did not get saved. But his journal did and is safely stored.
I cannot and do not want to even begin to imagine the sadness that was in this home at the time he died. I don't think his father ever recovered. His mother, a tiny framed woman, the mother of 7 children, had lost her Benny. The son who she claimed was the only one of her boys that had as much energy as she. When the war was brewing, she mentioned in a letter to Fred who was off at college, that she didn't wish to even think of it, but that father would not let that be. Later in the war, after she had lost Benny, had experienced the occupation of her home for three days by the Yankee General Sheridan and his troops and had become a widow, she described the Northerners as "monsters." Her outlook on life and the way she and her family had been treated instilled in her a negativity that even she would never have thought she was capable of possessing. Life moved on though and she pulled herself together and met the challenge with every ounce of her body and soul. She was not one to give up and she inspired others around her. When the year 1873 arrived she had survived the worst, and she opened her home to these young girls and loved them as her own, educated them and changed their lives forever. So it is again time to read some of their minutes and be reminded of the joys they experienced here.
(I have added a page to this blog which is a letter written to Mrs. Fleet just a few days after Benny died. To read this letter look on the left hand side of this screen near the top and you will see in bold the word Pages and beneath that the title "A letter of sympathy to Mrs. Fleet when Benny died..."
Click on those words in that sidebar area and you will find the text of that letter.)
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